Vienna Kim in Conversation with Estar An

Estar An and I met when we were teenagers attending an international school in Seoul, South Korea. Since then, I have been following the developments in her artistic practice, and have fallen in love with her raw, emotional illustrations. She was the obvious person to commission my portrait for the Made In Bed ‘Introducing’ series. In this interview, I ask Estar about how she has navigated working in the art world as an illustrator in recent years, and what future projects she would love to take on.

Light, © Estar An

When we knew each other in high school, you seemed to be good at everything—academics, music, art… did you always know that you wanted to become an artist and illustrator? At what point did you decide this was the path you wanted to take?

I remember wanting to be an artist ever since I was a child. The type of artist shifted and changed every once in a while — at times I wanted to go into fashion, and other times I did consider studying music. But because I always felt most confident in visual arts, I went into a communication design major. I had this very vague idea of going into editorial design, because I thought it would combine my passions for art, music, and fashion. I loved school. I got to try out different courses in a variety of fields, such as typography, poetry, fashion, art history, and even a bit of marketing. Towards my third year, I realised that illustration was really where I belonged — I felt genuine fulfilment and happiness while drawing.

Empty House, © Estar An

How would you describe your style of illustration? And how did you arrive at this style?

I don’t think I’m trying to fixate on a certain “style” as of now. I’m still on the path of figuring out my visual language, but I’m sure I’ll be doing that forever. Within my explorations of technique and application, though, I realised I like to illustrate without a lot of structure. I love using awry lines and shapes. I love elements that seem askew.

Four months ago, I switched from just freelancing to working full-time as a graphic designer. Through this somewhat drastic change (to me, graphic design and illustration are entirely different), I’ve been exploring different styles to make work that fit each project’s brand identity. Sometimes I have to make vector illustrations that are very clean cut, balanced and measured. It can drive me nuts because I like using paper and loose pencil lines. I make myself pick up aspects I can apply to my personal illustrations, though, such as balancing the use of shape and line.

Do you think your style relates in any way to what you want to communicate through your art? What do you find you normally want to express when you create a work?

Some of my illustrations are fuelled from loneliness, frustration, and anger — feelings that blur my vision and make my problems seem more important and devastating than they really are. It’s liberating to see people relate to these feelings we normally don’t choose to reveal. I get comforted and realise that the world doesn’t revolve around my issues, which helps me shrug things off and enjoy life. Sometimes I think we just need to laugh and take life less seriously. I’m hoping my illustrations encourage this and give comfort, even just a little bit.

You’ve lived in many countries. Like many in our situation, multi-culturalism seems like something we just cant escape—though its nothing to run away from, it seems to seep in to even our subconscious thought processes and actions. Do you feel like your experience living in other countries has affected your practice in any way?

For sure. The best part is that I’m not constrained to a certain culture’s visual trends. I also appreciate that I can make work that is relatable to more than one group of people. Having had to learn to familiarise myself in various settings, I open up to differences very easily, which helps me widen my vision and standards of art.

You’re back in Seoul now. How is navigating life after art school?

It was pretty terrifying at first. I hadn’t set up any concrete plans for my “career,” so I had no idea what was to come in my near future. Last year, I thought about going back to school and getting a master’s in illustration. The driving force behind that idea was honestly wanting to escape responsibilities of adulting and earning money, so I decided to tuck that idea away for some other time, when I really feel compelled to learn at an institute. I’m trying to embrace the uncertainty my twenties will bring me, and thankfully people have been approaching me with opportunities. I’m still the introverted type who likes to work alone, but I’ve been realising the crucial importance of working with others and walking into doors that open through personal relationships.

Why the decision to move back to Seoul? Do you see any differences working in the art scene there, as opposed to the United States, where you completed your studies?

I moved out of New York because my visa expired. In New York, I had a design job and freelance work with publishers but worked from home. Working at home was great, but I easily put myself in isolation and was quite passive about meeting new people. In Seoul, I’ve been pushing myself to be more active about looking for work and collaborating with others, which is helping me grow immensely. I miss the freedom and romantic spirit of New York, but Seoul’s incredibly fast-paced trends are also interesting to observe.

How would you like to see your practice develop? Are there any dream projects or clients that you’d like to realise/work for?

Through my graphic design job, I’m learning a lot about working as a team, visually marketing to audiences, and disciplining my work ethics. Although what I create at work is a lot different from my illustrations, I’m sure the aspects I’m learning right now will supplement my freelance work, as well (Hoping to go into full-time freelance someday, or create my own studio with close friends). I have some great artist/musician friends, so we’re planning on completing some projects together this year, such as an illustrated poetry book or even a music album.

Music is a huge, huge, part of my life, so I also dream of working with my favourite musicians for album designs, music videos, and more.

Thank you Estar.

Seabed Hiding, © Estar An

Estar in her studio.

Vienna Kim,

Head of Interviews, MADE IN BED